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Firedrake's Journal


Firedrake's Journal

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3 entries this month
 

Pain

00:49 Oct 27 2008
Times Read: 606


A day, a night, a week, a year. It makes no difference. The hole grows larger as each day passes. A loss so small, yet so important it may as well have been my soul. The days and weeks of my life are meaningless. I am cursed, for all whom I meet just leave me with naught but a broken heart and a feeling so terrible that I am consumed by it. It is like dying over and over but without the peace that the darkness brings. Never dying, never living, just existing within the pain.



This is the closest you will get to a story, Chan, I have lost my inspiration, along with any gratitude for it.


COMMENTS

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A Bad Memory

01:28 Oct 15 2008
Times Read: 628


Pain creeps like a knife into my heart as a memory floods my mind.



The park, on a warm afternoon, the sun sets in the distance. Shadows grow long as he walks me home and we stop in front of my house. Awkwardly, I look into his eyes, he stares at me blankly. Trying to make my feelings a little more obvious, I take his hand. He frowns at it for a second, then recognition flashes across his face and he snatches his hand away.

"What are you doing?" He hisses in horror.

Pale and wide-eyed, I struggle with the words. "I just—I didn't—"

"You—Oh my God, no, this—this isn't happening." He turns to walk away from me, not meeting my eyes.

"You walked me home," I mumble, "I thought . . . you might—"

"You thought wrong!" He retorts, whirling around to face me. His eyes are blazing with anger and resentment. "I only walked with you because, in case you've forgotten, I live just around the corner!"

He snorts in disgust. "You actually believed I could have any sort of feelings for you?"

"Well, YES actually, otherwise this wouldn't be happening, would it?" I snap back.

"Yeah, well you know now! There are a million other girls I would rather date before I even considered—ugh, it doesn't even bear thinking about—"

"Oh, JUST GO!" I yell at him, storming up to my front door. "GET LOST! YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!"

Slamming the door in his face, I thump up the stairs to my room and throw myself onto the bed, bawling my eyes out . . .


COMMENTS

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DeathSaint
DeathSaint
10:11 Oct 15 2008

this seems real some how.............





SuicideDoll
SuicideDoll
19:28 Oct 23 2008

I agree with the person above - this has a sense of real pain to it.





 

It Only Takes a Kiss

01:12 Oct 15 2008
Times Read: 629


Here I am, sitting in a crypt. Cold and alone, my eyes fixed on a shadow, unfocusedly staring. Not a thought in my head, I am lost in another world. I sit, as unmoving as a rock, naught but a marble statue in the tomb of my dead lover.

But wait, a flicker, just in the back of my mind. A pair of pin-prick lights, or – no, a pair of eyes, is glistening in the darkness. My eyes focus slightly, but I’m still shrouded in my near-unconscious state. They move towards me, my heart an audible ‘thump-thump’ in my chest, but I barely notice. The grief, a mere numbness in my soul, fades when the body shadowing the eyes reveals itself.

All traces of unconsciousness leave my mind and my gaze focuses directly into the eyes, oh, the eyes! My beautifully stunning lover, untainted in death, just as dazzling as the day we first met.

Those smouldering eyes, a luminous warm chocolate-brown, and your finely muscled torso with that smooth, fair skin flowing over your chest and washboard stomach. Oh, how I remember running my hands over that silky-smooth skin, feeling the muscles rippling underneath.

You take a couple of steps forward and all the memories come flooding back, a few making me blush as they invade my concentration.

I reach up to you like a child, silently begging you to take me into your arms. You swoop down, pulling me into a chilly embrace and, placing your face close to mine, I can smell the sweetness in your cool breath, like the most subtle, floral perfume.

I lean in closer. Your lips are softly touching mine, and suddenly I vanish into a world of dizziness and cold darkness. You are coming to me and the darkness is fading.

The brightest, but not blinding light, forms in front of us. Walking into it, the warmth surrounds us. It must have been some kind of kiss; that I died in your arms.


COMMENTS

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DeathSaint
DeathSaint
10:13 Oct 15 2008

enchanting!!!!!!!!!!!





SuicideDoll
SuicideDoll
19:29 Oct 23 2008

Excellent, as always








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